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Posts Tagged ‘blog contest’

So.. I am entering my first contest.

It is a Cliffhanger contest by writer Brenda Drake.  It’s a very cool premise, and I thought I ‘d give it a whirl.  (nervous, much?)

Since my story is about time travel, I thought it would be a cool thing to post the actual “travel”.  The set up is Hope, a fifteen year old girl, has discovered that she must journey into the past to save her mother.  Trained by her Aunt Lucinda and assisted by her friend Phoebe- who has magic- Hope must surrender herself to “the Dim” the horrifying passageway into the past. She wears an ancient opal ring, which allows her to “steer”, and more importantly, to return.

Here.. they begin the ritual..

HOPE-scene..

Phoebe patted my cheek and stepped away.

“All right, lovey. Let’s do this. It’s almost sunrise.” She said, her voice shaking slightly.
The scent of wet earth was so thick I could barely breathe. Raising my hand to just above my head, I traced the strange carvings that covered every inch of the low, claustrophobic cave.
Phoebe’s voice was weak as she sang the opening notes of the song; something between a monk’s chant and a Celtic ballad, that would bring the Dim to life.  As the sound echoed around me, bouncing off the walls, it picked up strength. Louder and louder until I could feel the notes drumming against my bones. The hair on my arms stood up.
When the last echo died, I cracked one eyelid. The earth pressed down on us from above. The dank wind which had whirled my skirts around me out of the man-sized opening of the abyss halted, as if holding its breath.
Before I could ask why it didn’t work, everything reversed violently. All the air was sucked out of me. My skirt and hair began blowing towards the Dim; pulling me in, calling me.

When the tiny pinprick of red first appeared between my fingers, I was supposed to walk to the opening. But, my legs were as frozen as the stone walls. They would not obey.
Brighter and brighter, the light became thick, as if it had…substance. As the cold brilliance clung to my skin and began inching up my arm, I panicked. I tried flinging it off, like some nasty, sticky object that I’d accidently touched in a convenience store restroom. My breaths became shallow screams.

Phoebe touched my arm and began the final notes of the song. The beauty of her voice gave me the bit of courage I needed. I looked into her anxious face, blushed with the scarlet light. I gulped, nodded.
The light sped up my arm and across my chest. It dripped down my front and cascaded down my back, cold as black ice. My head was whirling as I stepped to the boundary of the Dim’s darkness. The eerie wind was pulling at me, wanting me. I was so cold, so confused that for an instant, I thought I heard someone screaming my name, over and over. The cold, syrupy, red brilliance sped up my throat and spilled over my lips, filling my mouth.
I staggered and turned, the back of my heels teetering on the cliff’s edge of the Dim. There was a voice in the wind. Two. Dozens. Hundreds. Thousands of voices behind me. They were so loud I wanted to cover my ears as they screamed. The noise filled my skull, almost splitting it open. I opened my arms and started the backwards fall, letting the magic of the Dim take me. Take me to the past. Take me to my mother. Anything to make the voices stop.
Alex burst through entrance to the cave, his eyes frantic.
“Hope! No!”

THAT’S IT… What do ya’ll  think???

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